Happy Mundane

2009-05-03T17:08:00.001+09:30

Okay.

2009-04-24T05:24:00.002+09:30

I didn't forget. I'll never forget.

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Cliche, I know, but true.

High noon. Bright skies. Blue waters. Burning skin. L'oreal dry oil to tan.

Most memorable, most remarkable, BEST friendship to date.

Again, I say, I screwed up.

I'm just saying I'll never forget. I miss you. And I think of you a lot.

I need you. Your sanity, your wisdom, your craziness.

I love you. I always will. I'm sorry I screwed up.

I'll be cheering for you. In my heart. Wishing I could watch you. Give you flowers myself.

You'll rock, I'm sure of it. You always do.

I miss you, Buks. It may not seem like it, and I'm sure there's every argument to that statement, but just to let you know that I really miss being with you, spending time with you.

Sana, balang araw. Ewan. My words are all jumbled up. Ewan.

Miss kita.

2009-04-21T20:55:00.002+09:30

Blah.

This blog is turning into a sob story. I hate to think that my perspective has been completely clouded with grey.

With that, I bit you adieu.

(That's rat's ass, fo sho, as I'm to come back and we all know it. Well, I know it. Boo ya.)

2009-04-20T14:41:00.004+09:30

Listening to Alanis and thinking of you, wondering what songs you're singing these days.

I miss you, I miss your company, I miss being stupid with you. To fulfill my need would be selfish, even more than I've already been.

So I guess, I'll just listen the void away. Not like it'll ever get filled.

BFTTE. I've messed up a thousand times. It would be lavish to do so but I can't stop myself from hoping that one day, somehow, by grace, we'll be okay.

2009-04-08T18:23:00.000+09:30

Okay, I'm officially bored.

2009-04-03T02:25:00.007+10:30

See, the thing is -- when you choose something, it also automatically means you unchoose the rest.

Rules of fair play. Logic, straight out. It's a matter of fact that needs not be said but still, I think it -- unchoosing the rest -- is an overlooked consequence of the choices we make.

I don't know. Something in me is not convinced.

---

Validation should never be at the expense of someone else's fall.

---

As with most things, patience has its limits.

2009-03-23T04:49:00.001+10:30

And this Sunday turns out to be a good one.

Thank You.

2009-03-22T08:11:00.002+10:30

Skwater.

Ang daming feelings. Bwiset.

BLEEEECH.

I've sincerely forgotten how this all goes. Maybe it's a good thing. But right now, I just feel like heaving.

K.

2009-03-03T16:10:00.003+10:30

I think you're an ass.

I'll brush you off, cos I have other things going for me. Better things, malamang. Than bearing with your lack of certainty and irresolution. Don't drag me into this. If you don't respect my worth, well, I do. What you do with your life, sa'yo na yun. But I have to say I did care, do care, and can' take it out of me to want the best for you. For humanity in general.

I may seem like everything's just a sweet rainbow sandwiched in sarcasm and random jokes, but yes, I think. A lot. If you can't deal with the fact that I have a whole lot of thoughts and takes on things, malas. Go find someone else who can feed you shallow conversations day in and out. My thoughts lead me to concluding that a lot of times, it's okay to cut ties. At least I can say that in the beginning, and perhaps throughout, I tried. Gave what I could. Your idiotic ways, I have no control over.

See ya. Whatever your ego gets from this shit, congrats. May you relish it till the end of your days. I'd like to say fuck you, but then again, I wouldn't mean that.

Sana, umayos ka. Sayang.

2009-02-27T15:26:00.000+10:30

I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know.

2009-02-16T02:02:00.004+10:30

Hey there, Delilah.

I'm sorry.

----

I'm going to try make this ambition see the face of success. When it does, I'll dedicate its flight to you.

For believing when I wouldn't. Your faith and spirit, my fuel.

Thank you. Always.

To begin in conjunctions, incosistently.

2009-02-09T15:37:00.004+10:30

And then there's that ceaseless wish, muttered 323958710.23x per minute.

Pray the grounds would just open up and swallow you whole, no strand of hair left behind.

The promise of being accountable, inked on schedule a countless time too many.

So you suck it in. Stick it through.

Take the knife you've stabbed yourself with, an inch deep with every breath. Accept the blows that should come one by one.

Consequence, they call it.

Recognize the worth of apologies at this point.

See them vaporize like mist.

A fleeting, cold embrace on your skin, mirroring the unstable nerves in your gut.

No Ctrl + Zs, yes, I know. But I shall try harder.

Time like these, grammar's the last thing I think of.

---
Tagged. But posting here instead.

Put your player on shuffle and hit the 'Next' button to get your answer to every question. You must indicate the title and artist, no matter how far-fetched it sounds. Tag people who might be interested in doing this same thing. No cheating.
Same rules apply, if you don't know the song, PRESS again

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
New Soul
- Yael Naim

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Lover
- Devendra Banhart

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Love Like Laughter
- Beth Orton

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Dreamboy
- Sharon Cuneta

... Why, friends, why??

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I Know It's Over
- The Smiths

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Gimme More
- Britney Spears

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Rock Me To Sleep
- Jill Sobule

... Tears!!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Walk Away
- Ben Harper

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Another One Bites The Dust
- Queen

WHAT SONG WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
We Give In Sometimes
- Up Dharma Down

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
One Moment In Time
- Whitney Houston

... Hanggang lamay, may videoke.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Breaking Free
- High School Musical

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Queen and I
-Gym Class Heroes

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Bongga Ka Day
-Hotdogs

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Your Love Alone Is Not Enough
- Manic Street Preachers

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Sunday
- Sia

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Better
- Dashboard Confessional

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Better Together
- Jack Johnson

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
I Just Can't Wait To Be King
- Lion King OST

SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Perfect Now
- Sarah Blasko

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Canon in D (Guitar and Violin)
- Pachelbel

Hmmm.

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Two Of Us
- Aimee Mann

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Live and Learn
- The Cardigans.

Yea, that.

Okay, labo.

2009-02-05T17:40:00.003+10:30

The world awaits.

(Hi, Ais.)

------

Baka naman wala talagang catch.

------

Sabi sa horoscope ko,

You'll experience positive changes in your career. You'll receive work proposals which will please you all the more as they would rather greatly preserve your independence. At the same time, your affective life will remain active and well protected. Try to become totally integrated into the social or professional group to which you belong, and to accept your part of responsibilities. You must show much vigilance and caution, especially if you more or less flirt with illegality: the wrath of the law will be terrible.

Wala lang.

2009-02-04T17:14:00.002+10:30

For the movement of progress is the art of this movement.

This.

This is what I'd like to be working on for always.

I'm trying to get started.

Need a good kick. Or an embrace by the sunlight. Clear space, wide horizon. Or actually, I just need to get moving.

2009-01-28T13:09:00.002+10:30

"Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy." - Kahlil Gibrain

Etong si Kahlil, may konting katamaran. Nanglimos na lang?!

Anyway. Eto nanaman. Bump, bump. Kamon, move it, Chely, move it.

Photo credit: Not mine. Anonymous daw.

---

Sabi dun sa isang artwork sa isang art gallery --

Love is a gift not an obligation.

We should be reminded, yes? Merci.

Tota Seli & Ate Lawee Love.

2009-01-25T17:50:00.003+10:30

What's the guy doing?
The guy? He's reaching for the star.
Oh, I thought he was letting go.

Makes me think.

2009-01-18T18:15:00.004+10:30

1. I've come to realise that my butt: needs work. Hah. Lunges, hello, I don't really like you, but fine.

2. I've come to realise that when I talk: I slur. Or eat my words. Or hold back because I'm either intimidated by intelligence or my thought's not quite processed whole just yet.

3. I've come to realise that if I love someone: I should trust him/ her right. Today. Always.

4. I've come to realise that I need: to not panic.

5. I've come to realise that I've lost: some chances, but have capacity to make new ones.

6. I've come to realise that I hate it when: ... I'm trying not to hate.

7. I've come to realise that if I'm drunk: I can dance like I mean it, demet.

8. I've come to realise that money: is just money, but it sure makes movement a lot quicker.

9. I've come to realise that my mother: loves me.

10. I've come to realise that I'll probably always be: a dreamy child who has faith that everything IS possible.

11. I've come to realise that I have a crush on: you. UUUY.

12. I've come to realise that the last time I cried was: watching Grey's. Yessur.

13. I've come to realise that my cell phone: needs cleaning up. Serious bog down in the house.

14. I've come to realise that when I wake up in the morning: I need time to space out, realise I'm awake. Then, have coffee.

15. I've come to realise that before I go to sleep at night: I wonder about what you're thinking.

16. I've come to realise that right now I am thinking about: how I should be taking a shower instead.

17. I've come to realise that babies: are disarmingly adorable. Pero naniniwala ako, they should have their own area in airplanes. For everyone's sanity.

18. I've come to realise that when I get on blogs: our journeys are ever so similar.

19.. I've come to realise that today I will: detox.

20. I've come to realise that tonight I will: teach myself about accounting.

21. I've come to realise that tomorrow I will: work my ass off.

22. I've come to realise that I really want to: be able to fuse art, human rights awareness, and social enterprise into a medium mainstream enough to possibly spark positive development.

23. I've come to realise that who is most likely to repost this is: ... I'm hoping Aissa. Happy birthday!

24. I've come to realise relationships: should be nurtured and not taken for granted. And that its needs vary from day to day, and we must adjust, or let go when necessary.

25. I've come to realise love: is amazing beyond measure.

26. I've come to realise my best guy friend: means well, sober or otherwise.

27. I've come to realise my best girl friend: IS the best friend. Understatement of this lifetime.

28. I've come to realise food: is fun!!!

29. I've come to realise that when I'm a girlfriend: Hmm.

30. I've come to realise girls and boys: are all the same pink, fluffy, kiligidig hearts when in love.

31. I've come to realise over the summer: ... shet ang tagal na nung summer.

32. I've come to realise heartbreak: is a test of character.

Yes. Nakapagsayang nanaman ako ng oras. Hangsaya huh.

2009-01-11T18:39:00.003+10:30

Leslie. Chely. Starbucks. 3.20pm.

"Ang daming namamatay, noh."
"Paano ko sasabihing mahal ko siya?"
"Masaya ako na alam kong mamatay din ako in time."
"Nasasaktan din naman ako. Tao din naman ako."
"Keep the faith. Just.. believe in that air of chance."
"Nag-headband pa siya. E yung bangs niya nakabukagkag sa mukha niya pa din."

Spiked na ata kape dito e.

2008 and a projection of thanks

2008-12-31T04:28:00.007+10:30

As precedence and logic would have it, the trend for this week would be a post to end 2008. That in mind, I've been wondering how to wrap the year up and segue with hope into the year ahead, generally mirroring my sentiments.

I know of only one way to encapsulate the year that has flown by-- and that is with gratitude. I leaf through the pages of my annual planner and see how things have happened. With joy, with tears, with love, with pleasant surprises, with fear at times, with overrated failures, with amazing souls who constantly teach me just by being, with faith that kept me holding, and with faith that helped me let go.

This year, I let go.I remember Gang's blog entry asking what her readers let go the most of this 2008. I still have no specific response but I believe, in general, I just did. Let go.

I don't know yet if this letting go will bring me to a better path than what the past has granted me but I do certainly feel more free. I feel that I am on a journey to truth, to discovering how the world is without latching on. To issues (Okay, some). To comfort. Or what I've known comfort to be, at least. To other people's perception of me (not that it was the bane of my existence, and if we know each other, I think you'll get what I mean). To expectations. To assumptions. To pressure. To impressions. To judgments. To predicted limits.To tears that I forbid from flowing. To bullshit that's exhausted from being used as excuses. To battles that aren't mine to fight. To time. To love that isn't mine to keep. To generosity that others would benefit more from. To dreams that aren't for me.

The pie has been rightfully sliced, I believe. We choose which one, or how many, will be in our possession.

Hindi lahat para sa atin. At okay lang yun. Tamang paglulugar lang. Dahil merong sadyang atin, at angkinin natin yun. Huwag pabayaan. Lest, these that are ours slip out of our lives. (Salut, Murdock's Law of Recognition! Thanks for the rehashed insight.)

And so this 2008, I let go. Or at least tried to. And I think, I'll keep trying. This freedom of the spirit is addictive. A highly-saturated contrast yet a monochromatic fusion of giving and receiving. A point of osmosis for these two concepts. It's as if I can be true to myself more than ever, and hope that I'll end up with things that would be best for me. Hope that this will be best for people who matter in my life, too. With less of me and all that I've tried to detach myself from, I feel like there's more of my heart that I can give, love with. It's not easy neither painless but I think I'm learning.2008 has been a humbling experience to say the least. With all the blessings thrown my way and all the kindness I am given -- sometimes without even asking, I can only be thankful.

---

A very good (understatement of the year) friend's boyfriend has asked me to write a short note for her this Christmas. It was to be put on a photo book of his Christmas present for the girl. It was a short message and I'll cut it even shorter for posting purposes. (I don't think you'd want to know the innards of cheesiness caused by the dictates of global sisterhood.) ---

This holiday season, may we all learn to be thankful for everything that is in our lives. For with thanks, perspective is placed on a pedestal – pink, fluffy clouds within feel and sight, no matter how grey clouds try to loom over.

Okay, so the words pink and fluffy still presumably belong to the land of all things estrous but still, the essence of this message goes to you all. You're all part and parcel of why I understand that Christmas IS merry. My apologies for being lousy at correspondence, amongst other things perhaps. I just am lousy, no excuses here. Do know that I AM thankful for you. I sincerely hope the holidays -- and the world at large -- have been kind to you.

To 2009, to you, to me.To everything we choose to hold on to and to let go of... Cheers! Something tells me that it will be greater than we can even begin to imagine :-)

---

Alab.
Diwa.
Laya.
Tiis.

I'm having these inked soon.

2008-10-16T00:06:00.002+10:30

Wishlist:
and

... Hay. Ang sarap mag-absent.

2008-10-15T22:52:00.001+10:30

Not half, not a quarter, not a third... Just whole.

2008-10-15T14:41:00.002+10:30

I miss taking pictures and travelling. I miss being watching TV, reading books, writing letters. I miss playing with my brothers. I miss bumming with friends more than just the usual after-office beer bitching (but I'd have to say I enjoy those the most) I miss nitching projects and sealing deals that come as happy, pleasant surprises. Hmm.. In essence, I think I just miss being in control of my time.

Wala lang. Just blabbing.

2008-09-25T15:28:00.005+09:30

"How's it like -- to not feel?" - Finnegan Bell to Estella, From Great Expectations

A friend told me I should be able to show my humanity, or at least that I'm hurt the times that I am. I don't know why a lot of times I don't. I just try and cope and hope that in time, I'll be fine. Not at other people's expense. Just at my own pace, by my own struggle.

In other news, I'm home. Sick. Blech.

2008-07-01T06:02:00.003+09:30

Following Aissa's lead -- Here's a text I sent Deng almost 4 years ago.

".. Deng? .. Gusto ko na umuwi........... Di ko alam kung saan. :("
03 July 2004, 12.29am

Kumusta naman sa lungkot, diba? Watching Almost Famous just recently (I know, what a loss), I cried watching the part where Penny Lane goes, "You are home." I didn't get why. It just felt like such a new concept, to be home, within yourself, everything else immaterial. The feeling of adequacy, belongingness and all within one's self.

Ang galing.

Wala lang.

E kasi gusto ko nito e.

2008-06-17T01:56:00.004+09:30

Bakit ba mahal ang libro. Bwiset.

Of 5.30am YM brainfarts and lab por brawnie.

2008-05-28T07:37:00.005+09:30

Ctrl C + Ctrl V. Delete. Delete.

Sometimes a rebound isnt as bad as we think it is.

We use people all the time. to make us feel better. Sometimes let's let others use us also without asking for anything in return. Just keep in check lang na di naman masyadong pasagasa ng morale. Rebound has a very bad image. But I think rebounds are good, strong people who have the capability to nurture broken hearts.

Like mommies.
Like teachers.
Like a sanctuary.
But like sanctuaries, u have to be strong first before you offer care. Because maybe you care too much and not have anything left for yourself. Because people leave. Whether you're a rebound or not.

But that the chance [to love] is there....

La lang. There's power in kindness. And love. And if it's the pure unadulterated type you give her.. you'll be left with much more than when all this started.

---

Surprised to have said that cos I meant it. And this is something that I've forgotten myself and perhaps neglected in the past. How just being given the chance to love -- is a gift in itself. And how simple things should be in reality. Sometimes we care too much about our own issues -- what we perceive to be issues, anyway, that we forget that love is, indeed, simple.

2008-05-28T00:29:00.003+09:30

Love - hate relationship with work. This has got to be one of the perks:

Maj: "Meron bang pangalan na Juan pero 1 yung spelling? As in number 1?"
Chely: "Huh?"
Maj: "1. Parang si Boy 2."

When Gloomy Trees Dance With Your Soul

2008-05-21T01:59:00.005+09:30

Lately the grey clouds that hovered by my every step have been enjoying themselves a bit too much. They seem to encroach upon the privacy of people around me as well. I didn't ask them to go away. Instead, I wallowed. Sucked in all the doomed glory. Sulked. Slept away, inebriated and otherwise.

As Tring says, we bounce. And today, with the help of a long walk -- horizon as my guide and highway air pollutants as my choice of poison, clarity peeked its face once again. It wasn't the most calming of situations but in its lunacy , I found comfort. Resolution.

And so I'm back in the game, steady jones. The world won't wait for me I know. I'll try keep up again. Until the next trench. Swim deep.

PS --

"I have no right to complain." - Marge Francia. Take it from the woman. She knows her words.

2008-05-04T12:57:00.005+09:30

Silver year.

Happy birthday to me. :-)

2008-03-31T07:33:00.008+10:30

Ika nga ni Papa Kool, panibagong panimula.

I vow to do my best, give my all. And when I make mistakes (cos I will, fo sho) I'll learn from them and try again. Harder.

Here's to you and to me, to the wrongs we wish to set straight, to attempts, to faith, to passion, and to the dreams of this generation.

Cheers.

---

Lately, I've been wishing I could have days wherein I just stare and think of what to do. This operating under the premise that I'm not procrastinating, thinking about leisure in lieu of work. Just plain space out time to I don't know, sew. Draw. READ! Color. Gab. Or just do nothing without feeling guilty.

Don't get me wrong, I look forward to working. I actually enjoy work. But I just wish sometimes I learn how to take on just enough to leave some time left for doing nothing. That shouldn't be too bad, should it?

I found these photos and memories of that bangag day made me laugh.

The time we had on our hands, and the random ideas we thought of. This wasn't the height of our idleness, but I'd say this was good practice.

2008-03-05T10:17:00.003+10:30

Whilst on a search for blogs focusing on international development issues, I came across this tagline of a site ---

End poverty in South Asia.
Because it can be done in one generation.

Kaiyak. How definite the claim was. And how much assurance it feeds our hopes. Mine, anyway. I'm presently enjoying this work task of mine -- sifting through blogs. Something I'd do by choice. Anyway, I'll post links here. Baka may bored sa inyo. Gustong matuto.

Ah, bago ko pala gawin yun. Habang nagbabasa ako kanina, naisip ko lang -- Tangina, gusto kong maging magaling. Magaling na magaling. Sa kung anumang patutunguhan ko at sa kung saan man na ako ngayon. I figured out earlier on in life, and only through my faith in His promises for me, that I'm meant to do great things. With all humility, alam ko, I'm meant for great things. And I know that with this path of greatness, I'm meant -- and I intend -- to give it all back in the service of others.

Eto nanaman tayo. Life planning hurdles. Steady lang naman pero di kampante. Sapat na habag lang para makausad usad naman. Sayang ang life. Naks. Pero seryoso.

Now on to the links ---

www.endpovertyblog.org

www.treehugger.com -- Filled with LOADS of greening-up advice.

www.ideas4development.org -- WINNER.

www.harvardir.org/blog/

http://kenvironews.wordpress.com/

Yun na muna.

Gusto ko nang mag-aral muli. Mag-re-research na ako. Gusto ko na rin magsulat at kumuha ng mga litrato ulit. It's been ages. Kaka-miss.

Maybe I'll try.

Lastly, there was this article that was passed on to me which I found deeply interesting. The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors, it was entitled. To quote --

"Apparently they did not care so much about maintaining flexibility in the future. What really motivated them was the desire to avoid the immediate pain of watching a door close."

May we learn to decipher which doors are worth closing and the courage to let go. In the end, it's all for our benefit, anyway. Yun nga lang, masakit sa umpisa. Ika nga ni Maricel Soriano sa A Love Story --

"Lahat ng tama, masakit sa umpisa."

Toink. Hehe.

Good morning :-)

2008-01-30T06:20:00.000+10:30

Gusto kong magsulat pa. Wala naman akong maisip isulat. Hmm. K. Try ko.

---

I don't know what the point of this is. Whatever.

Minsan, may mga panahon na pakiwari ko makulimlim ang lahat. Perspective flies away without asking permission or giving notice of its return. About half a year ago, I was at the pit of insecurity and had to search for my way up, hoping to cling on to that blurry, slippery pole of hope. That time, I knew where I wanted to go but something threw me off unexpectedly.

I vividly remember that night I stayed up, read a countless number of blogs. I wrote down words that I couldn't seem to say for myself but someone else seemed to have felt alongside me. Truths other people seemed to have opened their eyes to and welcomed in their lives. I scribbled them furiously in a notebook with the hope that having them with me would make me, ewan, wiser?

Pak. I don't know why I'm taking a longer route. Gusto ko lang naman magpasalamat kala Gang. Deng. Patring. Carisse. Raena. Marge. Jill. Jake. Tanya. Ang dami pa, grabe. Pero ayun nga. By airing out your thoughts and sharing yourselves on cyberspace, you've unknowingly picked someone up and gotten her ready for another shot at... ewan, goals? Basta.

Thank you lang.

Di naman gaanong pointless, noh? Wala lang hustisya o di sapat ang pasasalamat na ito. Pero try ko lang, mag thank you sa ngayon. Kasi thankful talaga ako. For your words. Your mind. Don't know if you'll get to read this pero thank you pa rin. Rockstars in my heart. :-)

Lab,
Chely

---

K. Trabaho na ulit.

2008-01-30T01:45:00.000+10:30

Recent events kept reminding me that...

1. There's just SO MANY things to be thankful for. An endless list of them, amazingly.
2. There's only so much we can do, as there's only so much we can take.

2008-01-23T03:42:00.000+10:30

Random thoughts, in an effort to put off work --

.. It has been said that the people who suffer most are those who do not know what they want, more than those who know but aren't given. Lack of stability -- in desire, in direction, or in actual stance -- is indeed a pain in the ass. It's as if being at the mercy of fate, begging for a sign to show you you're on your way to a miracle. No point here, really. (As with the rest of thoughts to come)

.. Labels (in reference to Friendster's infamous It's Complicated status) are weird. In as much as I'd agree that definitions are merely set by us, I have to concede to the fact that labels give a certain assurance to the purpose that we serve. Wala lang. Naisip ko lang.

.. I've since believed that signature coffee, i.e. Starbucks, is just an unnecessary expenditure. Same with the coveted Starbucks planner. In my mind, it was just pure bull. I had been tasked to overdose on caffeine this year because my mom wanted one of them leather bound, Springfield gartered planners.

Just completed the mission and now I find myself still buying ridiculously expensive coffee. The convenience is just so luring and in a way, deceiving. Convenience. Now I understand. Sort of. I don't know what I'm trying to get at.

K, successfully wasted my time. Possibly yours, too, whoever you are.

Bye.

2008-01-18T09:07:00.000+10:30

Wordplay--

Sure-footed

Tagal na since the last wordplay ah. In any case, this one's a good one. Katuwa. Self-assurance.... such a beautiful thing.

Lastly, on the topic of beautiful words ----

"She makes me want to go out there and help."

"She makes me dream."

Naks. Nakakangiti at nakaka-udyok. Maging mas mabuting tao. At mangarap pa.

Reminiscing. Jess Merlet, this one's for you. Cheers.

2008-01-17T06:00:00.000+10:30

"Thinking that this entire change of life, sort of anyway, would have brought us to a better perspective ... but somehow, it's just made us masters of evading frustrations to the point that we feel nothing but void."

The Boos.

.... It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.

2008-01-04T04:09:00.000+10:30

First post for 2008.

Nung ginawa ko 'tong blog na 'to, naisip kong lagyan ng taon. Para maalala ko kung kailan siya nalikha. Hoping that I won't be changing online emotional dumpsites as I've long been.

As much as I want this to be a positive entry, baka hindi. Baka hindi ganun ang panimula sa taong ito.

Di din naman ako malungkot. Parang lang may kulang.

Count your blessings.

You're better off than you think.

Things can only get better.

Perspective lang yan.

These are the things I often tell myself when things get shitty. Or stagnant. Or worse, pointless. Not saying I deem my present situation as any of those. Just that I can't seem to pick myself up. For now. Lutang lang muna.

Kanina pa ako lakad lang ng lakad, tulala. Di din naman ako naghahanap ng kausap. Wala naman akong iniisip. Parang lang may mali.

Gusto kong umiyak. Wala lang.

But I'm ok.

Baka jebs din lang.

----

Alam mo yung feeling na pag nakakilala o nakakita ka ng tao na di mo kakilala, pakiramdam mo makakasalamuha mo sila ulit sa buhay mo?

Wala lang.

Trabaho na ulit.

----

Isang makahulugang 2008 sa ating lahat.

2007-12-15T02:58:00.001+10:30

Pass na.

Salamat.

2007-12-09T10:07:00.000+10:30

Makibahagi. Konting pakialam naman sa mga pangyayari. No More Excuses, Philippines.

....There is none, really.

----

Kahapon, straight from my shift, Deng and I hied off to QC Memorial Circle to join Greenpeace's Renewable Energy campaign. I was sleepy as shit but I must admit, I would've regretted much had I not hauled ass to join in.

First time ko makaapak sa Circle. And while hindi ko matanggap na pwedeng i-aerobics ang LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS at YOU OUGHT TO KNOW BY NOW (aero classes tudalep and right sa Circle, mehn), talaga namang nakakabuhay ng dugo ang makasama ng mga taong taos pusong nananampalataya sa mas magandang mundo.

People came in costumes and braved the heat of the sun if only to claim their support for renewable energy. Ros, this passionate volunteer of WWF who we got to work with previously, said that the Renewable Energy Bill has been sleeping for 18 years now. WTF. No, seriously. WTF?! Debut? Baka naman gusto nang pagtuunang pansin 'to.

Gising, hoy!!!

Participants walked around QC Circle and Deng joined them in a mightily hip clock costume (hehe, go Buki!) whilst I sat by the registration tents and chat with a frequent visitor of Circle, Angie. Angie is 9, is a Grade 1 student of San Vicente Elementary School. We sat on the floor and watched the people walk by. She asked me what the entire project was for and I attempted to explain.

Ako: Alam mo ba kung saan galing ang kuryente?
Angie: Sa langit!

May solar panel kasi na dala ang Greenpeace. Sabi ko, kapag yun at ibang alternatibong pinanggagalingan na ng kuryente ang ginagamit natin sa Pilipinas, mas makakamura tayo in the long run. Not to mention a cleaner, safer world. Sabi niya, "Mas mura kung sa araw galing ang kuryente? Diba dapat libre? Paano ka magbabayad ng kuryente sa araw, itatapon yung pera pataas?" In fairness.

I asked her what her ambition was.

Angie: Gusto kong mag nursing. Kasi pag-nagnursery ako, marami akong matuturuan.
Ako: Ah. Ayaw mong mag-doktor?
Angie: Ayoko nun, mahirap. Gusto ko yung taga-abot lang ng mga kailangan ng doktor. Ikaw, anong pangarap mong maging?

Pause. Ano na nga ba? Buntong hininga. Pause. Buntong hininga.

Ako: Gusto kong magturo sa mga tao tungkol sa mga karapatan nila. Basta, gusto kong makatulong sa mundo.
Angie: Ah, gusto mong maging teacher.

:-) Baka nga yun yun. Di ko pa kasi lubos ma-imagine kung paano, pero dun din ang patungo. It's nice to be reminded. My dreams of becoming a Human Rights Educator, Social Entrepreneur, Ambassador of Volunteerism. Baby steps. Big leaps. And once again, I say to myself-- I am in transit. Here's to hoping I don't stray from this direction.

Pangarap ko din matupad ang pangarap niya.

May litrato ako ni Angie pero di ko lang mahanap pa sa ngayon. Mamaya, upload ko.

----

Met some of the new Global Xchange Volunteers. Good vibes all around. Got a chance say what GX is all about and a bit about our experience. HAAAAAY. If only I could do GX all over again. And again. And again. And again. But I guess it's time to move on. Move forward.

It's always inspiring to meet members of the youth who care and see a world beyond themselves.

Really excited for them. La lang.

----

New plans in my head for Kindness Revolution. Excited. :-)

2007-12-04T03:04:00.001+10:30

Tae, asan ba yung crayons ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-01T04:41:00.000+10:30

Somebody misses shooting.

IMMENSELY SO.

Both digital and film. But leaning towards digital with a heavy apologetic hand on my heart, in an effort to be greener.

Maybe it will be a trigger happy December. Say hello to a filled HD. :-)

I shall return. Maybe not with the most breathtaking of images, but enough to satiate the clicking hunger.

WEEE!

2007-12-01T00:59:00.001+10:30

Nakakita na ba kayo ng Twist Car???

AMAZING!!! Lawee and Paning had them last year and I've always wanted one. But I'm kuripot so I only got this week for my youngest brother.

Pag yumaman na ako, bibilhan ko buong pamilya ko. At ikaw! At ang buong mundo! It's gaddem fun, I tell ya! Can just imagine riding this along EDSA. It's the shizzle, mehn.

Took videos of my brothers riding. Will post when I get to charge my phone. Toink.

Hay, ang saya talaga ng may blog. Sayangan ng cyberspace.

-----

Para kunyare may sense naman for today --

"I believe that we learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. In each, it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one's being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes, in some area, an athlete of God. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired."
- Martha Graham

K. Back to work.

2007-11-20T22:54:00.000+10:30

Sa mga panahon ng pagmamadali, pagkataranta ay madalas maraming nakakalimutan.

Isa na dun ang katotohanan na lahat, nagtatapos. The haste sometimes makes me forget what really matters. Recognizing the fact that everything has its end makes us maximise the potential of our lives. The potential of moments.

...

I have always seeked refuge in the sunshine. In its silence and warmth, I find rest and wisdom. Bukas, gigising ako ng maaga.

2007-11-19T03:40:00.001+10:30

Trying to rehash what little skills I have of blog layout and design because a project calls for it. Seriously considering learning website design and development cos there's endless potential for it. ANYWAY. Expect more blog experiments up soon.

3.45am yet with a million more things to do. Happy work, this one I'm fixing, so no complaints. Fake yang 'hay nako' image na yan. I just had nothing else to write.

2007-11-18T12:04:00.000+10:30

Eto yung mga panahong na halos parang bawal huminga sa sobrang dami ng kailangang gawin. Just the same, these are the times where as I keep running and hitting myself against a wall of to-do lists, I manage to squeeze in time to post in this little online dumpsite of mine. Call it procrastination (cos that's what it exactly is, sigh) but this has become a personal routine.

ANYWAY, thought for this morning as I perused through endless of sites trying to gain inspiration for some projects I need to finish -- I know I am in a transitional phase, career-wise. Having said that, I have every power to decide where to go. At the age of 24, I am now employed (oi, oi, a scheduled life, 9 to 6 life -- well, almost) like I've never been. Filing for a 'leave', asking whether salary's come in yet, coffee break with officemates, OFFICE MATES! Tsk. This all new to me. It's been good, thus far. Been learning. Mostly about myself and how little sleep I can subsist on.

I digress. My point is that I know where I am headed, as I've repeatedly said. I am in transit, as I claim my position to be. And I am in power to change my direction, as I always believe. But I feel the wind blowing me to the same direction time and again. I'd be a fool not to listen.

Let's see how things go.

-- I changed the colors of this again. The darkness was ... suffocating. Wala lang.

2007-10-31T07:01:00.001+10:30

Kanina, pauwi ako mula eksibit (tapos na, yea!) pagkatapos ay patungo sa trabaho (at 1.10am, no less), in-on ko yung radyo. Lumang tugtugin, baduy para sa ilan pero wala lang. Natuwa ako --

Ngayon ay narito ako
handang umibig sa iyo
Nang Walang Katapusan.

Hayup. Surrender kung surrender. Take All Of Me I Am For You Entirely, Eternally. Ready. Willing. Submitting. Disisit.

Happy Halloween.

2007-10-05T03:09:00.000+09:30

A Fundraising Exhibit.
You're invited.

Weeee! :-)

2007-09-28T16:00:00.000+09:30

Napagtanto ko kahapon na sa stage na ito ng buhay ko (at palagay ko sa ngayon e pang-habangbuhay na adhikain na rin) na gusto kong maging:

1. Human Rights Educator
2. Global Education Trainor
3. Social Entrepreneur
4. Artist
5. Bombastarr.

Nyek.

Pero totoo. Yung first 4 :-) Kahit na yung artist ay in my own right as we all are, hehe.

It was only recently that I learned of what the universally declared human rights are. (Read: 3 months ago) I find this fact a tremendously unfortunate one seeing as these are standards that I should be living by and just the same, these are the things I should be making sure the rest of my fellow beings rightfully possess.

It bothers me to no end that people are not aware of what they deserve.

Kagabi, nag-attend kami ng WhyNot? Forum. Ang mahal, teh. Pero dahil nandun ako sa point ngayon na panimulang buhay at gutom sa motibasyon, sige, tara na. Para sa ikabubuti ng kinabukasan at ikatitibay sana ng loob. Wisdom from the pros, ganun.

Boring yung iba, to be honest. Lalo na yung sa Unilever, parang... may mali. In my opinion, anyway. Sabi nga ni Deng, there's a fine line between maverick marketing and lying. I agree. Buti na lang nandun si Gang Badoy. (Uuuy, hi, Gang, kung sakaling mabasa mo'to. Totoo yan. Really enjoyed your bit.) And Fr. Ted Gonzales. At Radioactive. Bawi ang P300. Natuwa din ako sa promotion ni Brian Tenorio ng Fair Trade. I would love to see fair trade be adhered to in our country. It was a dream I envisioned when I got to spend a bit of time in the land of fair trade aka land of the queen. Di ko naabutan si Quark Henares, sayang.

Anyway, sabi nila kagabi diba WHY NOT. Bakit hindi. Bakit hindi nga naman. Ngayong natanong na natin kung bakit hindi, ang tanong ko sa sarili ko ay-- O, TAPOS?

And then what.

Vision.

Action.

Follow through.

Sige, game na. Game na.

Pag aaralan ko'to. Wala na talaga akong makita pang buhay aside from devoting it to the field of development.

Hay. Not by funds but by spirit. Dadating ang pera. Dadating yan. I may be blessed pero grabe ang financial situation ko ngayon. Or should I say the lack of. Nagbibiruan na nga kami ng mga co-volunteers ko sa GX, below poverty line ito. Pero matatapos din ang unos. I believe. Konting kapit lang. At konting pagtitiis sa hits of depression dahil sa kakulangan.

ANYWAY. I digress.

For enlightenment's sake. Gusto ko lang i-share.

A summary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

1. Everyone is free and we should all be treated in the same way.

2. Everyone is equal despite differences in skin colour, sex, religion, language for example.

3. Everyone has the right to life and to live in freedom and safety.

4. No one has the right to treat you as a slave nor should you make anyone your slave.

5. No one has the right to hurt you or to torture you.

6. Everyone has the right to be treated equally by the law.

7. The law is the same for everyone, it should be applied in the same way to all.

8. Everyone has the right to ask for legal help when their rights are not respected.

9. No one has the right to imprison you unjustly or expel you from your own country.

10. Everyone has the right to a fair and public trial.

11. Everyone should be considered innocent until guilt is proved.

12. Every one has the right to ask for help if someone tries to harm you, but no-one can enter your home, open your letters or bother you or your family without a good reason.

13. Everyone has the right to travel as they wish.

14. Everyone has the right to go to another country and ask for protection if they are being persecuted or are in danger of being persecuted.

15. Everyone has the right to belong to a country. No one has the right to prevent you from belonging to another country if you wish to.

16. Everyone has the right to marry and have a family.

17. Everyone has the right to own property and possessions.

18. Everyone has the right to practise and observe all aspects of their own religion and change their religion if they want to.

19. Everyone has the right to say what they think and to give and receive information.

20. Everyone has the right to take part in meetings and to join associations in a peaceful way.

21. Everyone has the right to help choose and take part in the government of their country.

22. Everyone has the right to social security and to opportunities to develop their skills.

23. Everyone has the right to work for a fair wage in a safe environment and to join a trade union.

24. Everyone has the right to rest and leisure.

25. Everyone has the right to an adequate standard of living and medical help if they are ill.

26. Everyone has the right to go to school.

27. Everyone has the right to share in their community's cultural life.

28. Everyone must respect the 'social order' that is necessary for all these rights to be available.

29. Everyone must respect the rights of others, the community and public property.

30. No one has the right to take away any of the rights in this declaration.

Maligayang Biyernes sa kung sino mang mapadpad dito. :-)

----

Ay, wait lang. Ngayon pa lang, gusto kong magpasalamat sa Digiprint at Rafa's Deli + Cafe. For the generosity that they'll be extending. I'm holding a fundraising photo exhibit which will run from October 13 until November. Sana... mag work. :-) K!

2007-09-03T03:54:00.000+09:30

Ummmmm........

I don't know.

2007-06-07T08:19:00.000+09:30

Truth of the matter is -- I am quite emotional as I am leaving a host family, an overseas Filipino community, a group of Somali women who have been my students and teachers at the same time, a lifestyle and culture I only imagined to take part of, and all other things related to the past 3 months living and volunteering in a different country. My suitcase is wide open and my room looks like it's been hit by a tornado, what with my things just slapped on to the floor. I have a ton of thank you letters to do and a massive to do list that needs to be accomplished within the next 6 hours.

BUT. I'm here online because I just want to greet the person I favor the most in the entiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiireeeee world. :-)

Happy birthday, Deng (Dengydeng? Haha, too funny) !!! You're a blessing to me and to many others and I can't say enough how much I love you and our togetherness :-) Your being keeps me aware, inspired, and moves me to be kind. Sana marami pang taong katulad mo. Kailangan pa ng maraming taong katulad mo. You're the wise, humble, strong sickoe we all love and appreciate and I know for a fact that one day you'll rock the world even harder. I always pray that our friendship may serve and continue to serve a higher purpose. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! You deserve a great 26th and may you have all that and more! Cheers to steak and prawns! :-) Mahal kita. :-)

Ayun. Southampton phase over. Learned so much (gained much weight as well, tsk! EVS.) I'm not even going to attempt identifying them here. Next up, 4 days London, 3 days Manila, then 3 months in Davao. One day, I shall be a professional volunteer. And I shall serve this world because I see no other life than to attempt to better that which I or my children might have complaints about.

Yea.

2007-05-24T20:37:00.000+09:30

Gusto ko nang sumagwang muli.

ARGGGGGGGH.

I got to row on a river here last Monday. But it's still not the same. It was actually a canoe but I made out for it to be a dragonboat anyway. That just breathe so much life into me, as in. Yung pagpasok ng sagwan sa tubig. Hila. Hagod. Lipad. HANGIN! Tilamsik ng tubig sa muka. Naalala ko tuloy dati. The grunts. Body bends. Timing. Oars up. Last 10. Stretching. Sunrise. Dawn sky. Hingal. Lagkit pagkatapos magrow. Burak sa paa. BURAK! Pagkarga ng bangka pagkatapos. Taho. WAH! Dami pa. Will be joining a couple of rowing clubs this coming week by the Itchen river. Ang shala, sumasagwan sa Inglatera. Thank you, Lord, for the chance. Sana ok. Sana masaya.

Huhuhuhu. I'm so athletically useless. Such a lazy fattie. Have been for a long time now.

Promise, sa September. I'm going to row my little heart to exhaustion. And swim. And surf. And hopefully, dive with Denggers. This is it. I vow.

Water, sun, and deep breaths. Just you wait for me.

2007-05-13T04:31:00.000+09:30

Holga, Kodak Ektachrome 200
Cross-processed

2007-04-27T23:58:00.000+09:30

Intercultural communication

Today was our first class at our volunteer placement. We were to teach Somali women English. It was a bit more challenging than the usual fare of teaching English because the students each had different levels of knowledge -- from reading & writing to intermediate to not even knowing the English alphabet.

It was quite unnerving because you have these people counting on you to learn something, anything at the end of the day. I'd say we did fairly well, considering today was generally just an introductory course and primarily an assessment of their learning curve.

Learned a lot. I now know how to count in Somali, say yes, no, thank you, bye, hello, bless you, the Somali alphabet, cup, plate, right, flower. Hmm.. ano pa ba. Ah, and for my wordplay -- ISHA ALAAH. It means 'if Allah says.' What a faithful, quixotic affirmation of surenderr.

AT! They gave us our equivalent Somali names. Mine made me smile.

SHUGRI (thankful for) SHAMSA (sun)

I like. :-) It's.. me. :-)

----

PS. Happy diving, MMK.

Photo post

2007-04-26T22:41:00.000+09:30

Top to Bottom:

1. My test strips at our darkroom workshop. B&W love!!!
2. Topshop + sales = love. Wanted to buy these shoes before leaving in June but saw them on sale, so yey.
3. Zipwiring during our Mid Project Review held in Queen Elizabeth II center.
4. with Jess in front of the Buckingham palace.
5. Punit ang damit in London with Miel and Jay

K. Sa uulitin.

Aktibista sa Inglatera :-)

2007-04-25T19:34:00.000+09:30

Trade Justice Movement: Part of a Global Day of Action against Europe ’s unfair trade deals

Last April 19, campaigners around the world joined together to ensure that the governments of the European Union (EU) heard our message loud and clear – that they must stop pushing unfair trade deals on the poorest countries in Africa, the Caribbean and the Pacific (ACP).

In London, campaigners staged first ever simultaneous lobby of all EU embassies.

Pordat, andyan ako somewhere. Rumarally sa Belgrave Square. Below are photos of the group I was in. Jess, Miel, Dora, and I were assigned to Belgium Embassy.

'Twas interesting to see how demonstrations are done in a 1st world country. In fairness, may designated na tao who walks around with a coffee/tea dispenser on his back.

Baja

2007-04-18T01:17:00.001+09:30

IMG_1575
Originally uploaded by hoysili2007.

Dora and I have painted hands courtesy of Juweria, our resident 8y/o volunteer.

Ok, post next time. Dora's here. Follow link for the photos :-)

On the way to work

2007-04-13T01:26:00.001+09:30

On the way to work
Originally uploaded by hoysili2007.

I'm alive. :-)

Will post again tomorrow. Busy busyhan.

----

"You can't inherit a conscience."
-Fran (on prejudice not being inbuilt)

2007-04-04T20:16:00.000+09:30

And the sun shines on a puddle of mud

"Have you ever experienced that moment when your heart physically hurts as you stare at a photo and ask, 'Why do I love you so much?' not really expecting to come up with an answer but knowing that you will just continue to do so? And more."

Ayun na nga.

Happy birthday, Ate Aips. :p

2007-04-03T05:28:00.000+09:30

Halloween came in early this year

Group photo: GXP Team 58 at the community welcome held at the Mayor's Parlour in Southampton's City Centre. Spot the politicians. (L-R: Erap, me, Raina, Junica, Yan, Miel, GMA, Dyqa, Philip, and Jay, one of our supervisors)

That's all for now.

Oh. Di pala. I cooked mechado this morning. Naks. The wonders that homesickness can do.

Ah. And, for today's brainfart -- thought about this while walking in the park. Hmm.. must have been the blooming magnolias, tulips, and the daffodils dropping serious thoughts to my head whilst it being a holiday. Here--

Being immersed in a culturally diverse group will inevitably bring about comparisons of ways of living, some comments to be brought forth surprisingly unkind and narrow-minded (if I may say so). My thoughts on this -- a culture can not be devalued by condescending words of an uninformed being hence offense should not be taken. Comments of such nature only speak volumes about the character of the person from whom the words came. Just because things are done differently by another doesn't mean they are automatically done in a faulty or weird fashion. I mean, really, say hello to a world beyond yours, sweetie.

I don't believe it takes being brought up in a certain culture just to be respectful, value it and give where due. I think it only takes being human and being fair.

Last two things before I end this -- I have never been prouder to be a Filipina and hay, I dislike being away. (Wuss, I know, it's only been 3 weeks but hey, home is home)

Back to work tomorrow. Yey to higher purposes in life. :-)

-----

Lomolounge @ Route 196

Congrats to the LomoLounge Launch! Huhu, I want to see our finished wall. Oh well. My spirit joins you :-)

Cheers to Lomomanila!

Our pictures are exhibited at Route 196 (previously Inihaw Republic) Katipunan and will run for the entire of April. Bisita na kayo!

----

Heartfelt happiness

THANKS, Li Xieau (real spelling na yan) FOR THE PICTURES!!!! Grabe :-) :-) :-)

Haven't smiled this much since I left :-) *Libby, Mass., and L. Won doing the victory dance*

2007-03-29T21:13:00.000+09:30

Forget about the pot and enjoy the rainbow

I'm alive!!! :-) Got here safely after a long, sleepy flight. Ang lamig! Been here for almost 2 weeks now and sadly, I still haven't adjusted to the weather. For the past couple of days, the temperature slightly rose but now it's back to a freeze us all to death status. ANYWAY! How English of me, talk about the weather weather weather endlessly.

I've been staying with my lovely (lahat na lang lovely) host parent, Sarah along with my French home counterpart Jess. We have a puppy named Freddy and he used to be a bit too excited but now his jumpiness has grown on me. I've been having sandwiches e v e r y s i n g l e d a y since I got here. Sarah bakes a loaf daily so fresh sandwich for me and Jess, yey. No complaints except that I seem to have gotten used to their big servings whilst still eating at the same Filipino frequency (almusal, chichirya, lunch, merienda, dinner + chocolates at every chance) Tsk. I've gained at least 6 pounds even if I walk almost 2 hours a day minimum just getting around. Oh well.

I'm working for the Somali community here. My partner Dora (who may just be another Sili in a different continent all along, really. The character similarity list is growing, it's frightening) and I have just come up with a proposal of activities to raise ethnicity awareness in Southampton, raise funds for the association, and assist in office management. There's a grand total of 2 Somalis running the office and it's incredible how they've got everything down pat. Goes to show how passion, dedication, and commitment can go a looong way. Oh, and Dora describes the location of our office as ' the ghetto', and I have to agree. Although in all fairness, we both find the environment safe and secure despite its seeming dodginess.

Amelies: 1st day at work

Random, random

.. It's quite interesting to view a different race submerged in suffering -- and I don't mean that in a condescending way. It's just that being in poverty-stricken (or so it's been assumed as) Philippines, I would never have thought of seeing with my own two eyes a bunch of homeless, begging European people. It's also disheartening passing by all drugged up or extremely drunk adults on the streets.

.. On the bridges here, there are signages with numbers of hotlines for suicidal people. Apparently, a whole lot of the depressed here just jump off any bridge. Jess mentioned having a minimum of one or two suicide accounts on the subway monthly as well. How unoriginal, you English folks. Kidding :-p But really, that's quite a big number and I'm surprised. I guess here we find the truth behind needing more than just food on the table to live an adequate life.

.. There was a Volunteers Fair yesterday we visited. Hay! Amazing! The number of organizations and all the different causes and advocacies being pushed for. Some are even concepts I wouldn't have thought of. There was this one for child bereavement support. Ang galing, grabe. That they actually recognize the need for these things whilst us, back home, fight to address mainly hunger and the most rudimentary of necessities. I await the day when we Filipinos climb up Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

.. I appreciate music so much more here. It might be the loneliness talking but anyway, yea.

.. I have but will not anymore drink beer to the tune of £3.10 a pint. Pubs here have such a wide variety of beer, ale, and cider choices but I'm sticking to and will wait for my 30p Red Horse in a few months, thankyouverymuch. Whiskey's relatively cheap here though, so.... hmm.

.. Not to be all preachy and self-righteous but don't you find it weird how one cares so much for the environment yet just flick out their cigarette butts just about anywhere? So much for caring for the planet. The world is not your ash tray, yo.

.. I have never, ever missed driving so much. It's only been 2 weeks, I know but still.

.. Sooooooooo excited for Deng and all her new adventures and endeavors. I miss my bestestestest friend, boo hoo :-( My bill is sky high already it seems but haaaaaaayyy. :-(

.. Take it from me -- it isn't any good to sleep beside the heater because you wake up with burn marks on your arms the next day. Tsk.

.. The Somalis have some of the prettiest features I've ever seen. Ang gaganda nilang mga nilalang.

.. Question normalcy. Just do.

.. Paul Smith in Nottingham!!!! Walang chance pero baka magawan :-)

----

Yea, well..

"This has got to stop. It only inflates your ego as it diminishes my confidence."
- L. Harper, 2007

Atta girl, my Amelie. :-)

----

Wordplay

A disposable culture

----

Ultimate goal

I want to live a life filled with love and kindness and fairness. Yes, that's what and all I want.

----

That's all for now. Will post photos soon (4 rolls in 2 weeks, been sticking to my film diet, yey) as I've just found a relatively affordable developing and scanning place. Blessed be, dear world. :-)

And the attempts to pack begin.

2007-03-08T11:09:00.001+10:30

Packing priority
Originally uploaded by hoysili2007.

Velvias na lang, ready na. Bringing about 80 rolls. Hopefully, that will be enough to last the 1st phase of the trip. If anyone wants to donate to the films I'll be hauling, I shall make space :p

Now off to get work done so I could continue preparing for the exchange. HAY!

2007-03-06T15:47:00.000+10:30

Of addictions and the crave for satisfaction

There are days when I get hooked on a certain song. For no particular reason, it just.. ewan. Gets into my blood. Space Out Anthems, I call them. Feel drugged when I listen to song of choice. Can't stop, won't stop. For today (and I assume through history that it will last for about a week), it's Chicane's No Ordinary Morning. I rarely, rarely like this type of music but this one has got me hooked. Nakakahigh tapos nakakaikot ng mundo tapos nakakakagat ng dila. Awoo. Like chewing on the end of a pencil and not stopping until you've gnawed through. Or popping a piece of chocolate one after another until you're so full of it you could only... eat more. Or swimming without breathing until you feel like your head's about to explode from the lack of oxygen. Gigil, mehn.

If there was nothing that I could say
Turned your back and you just walked away
Leaves me numb inside I think of you
Together is all I knew

We moved too fast but I had no signs
I would try to turn the hands of time
I look to you for a reason why
The love we had passed me by



And as the sun would set, you would rise
Fall from the sky into paradise
Is there no light in your heart for me
You've closed your eyes, you no longer see

There were no lies between me and you
You said nothing of what you knew
But there was still something in your eyes
Left me helpless and paralysed

You could give a million reasons change the world and change the tides
Could not give me the secrets of your heart and of your mind
In the darkness that surrounds me now there is no peace of mind
Your careless words undo me, leave the thought of us behind
You could give a million reasons change the world and change the time
Could not give me the secrets of your heart and of your mind
In the darkness that surrounds you know there is no peace of mind
Your careless words undo me, leave the thought of us behind

Together is all I knew. I-sweet. Who needs drugs, really?

2007-03-05T10:17:00.000+10:30

Ang katotohanan ayon kay Tring

Ang lahat ng bagay, nagtatapos.

13 days.

Hay.

Finality gives assurance but at the same time, a dead end. It takes a whole lot of perspective to aim to look beyond.

Right now I am hopeful. I know that a whole new life is in store for me and I can't wait because an answered fervent prayer of mine lies there. It's just the thinking that once a new thing begins, something has got to end. It leaves me with a moment of pain despite the hopefulness. Death always has two sides to it.

Yet still, we inevitably bounce

There's no point in reveling in misery so at this point, I choose to celebrate my life's steps. Each and all that has begun, recreated, redistributed, died, are dying, and have yet to be born.

Heavy hearted still and all, yes, but a soul-meant 'Cheers!' anyway.

2007-02-27T21:34:00.000+10:30

Umamin ang mga salarin

This really cracks me up. Funny how universal some mistakes are. :-)

------

Sweeping today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until she can't anymore

To a mami, from mami--

"I am amazed beyond words by the human capacity to defy reason and fall in love. I'm even more surprised that I, in all my efforts to be otherwise, have the power to experience this phenomenon on a personal level. At this point, I'm just thankful I can feel."

And so mami smiles despite every painful crash in her heart. :-) Kaya mo yan. Ikaw pa.

------

Dumping baggage online

October 2006
Taken with a Colorsplash, Xpro Sensia 100

Snagged a Flickr pro account in preparation for I-am-away I-have-no-hard-drive I-need-hi-res-online-archiving moments but I have yet to figure out how to fix it. There's barely anything in my account for now, will get to it once work eases up a bit.

Really hope this plan works out cos I seriously don't intend to lug around with me more things than necessary. Hay. Now to finding baro't saya and another formal attire.

2007-02-25T02:31:00.000+10:30

Something I'd most likely be guilty of

I have an addiction to beautiful strangers. And for me to define beauty is another entry altogether (if I may ever surmise what it is to me), tsk.

---------

Gluttony

Bowl of cereal
Tuna sandwich
6 slices of pizza
2 servings of pasta
1 cup of gelato
crackers + butter and jam
a tub and a half of Ice Monster

That's my menu for today. Grabe. Sooo full, I feel my intestines giving up. This. Not. Good. Parang nakalimutan ko ang mga nagugutom sa Latvia. Tsk.

---------

I-like-words Entry # 3922394

Ikaw.

:)

Doesn't it just sound so.. hmm. I don't know. There's an honorable, heartfelt submission right there in pronouncing those two syllables.

IKAW. Something fatalistic yet romantic in it that could evoke a sudden coronary blockage in me a few nanoseconds after it has been said. (i.e. "Sinong pabigat sa buhay?" "Ikaw, tae!" :P Hehe, kidding)

----------

Mission Accomplished

I was able to accomplish some of my good deed tasks this weekend and I must say, it feels REALLY good to actually, personally realize those little written notes on fluorescent pieces of paper.

I --

1. emailed messages to a couple of people I don't know
2. had a date with Entz, my 8yr old nephew (hence the ravaged tub and a half of Ice Monsterness)
3. gave street people food (3 families, 2 kids)
4. drove Lawee, my 4yr old friend, to school and her mom to the gym

A task that hasn't been asked of me that I want to do is to embrace all the Yakult ladies that I see on the road, buy an entire pack of Yakult, and give them a letter of thanks/ a flower/ a cold drink. These ladies are heroes in their own rights and I hope that somehow, I get to tell even just some of them that. Wala lang.

Same goes for magtataho, SM sales assistants, guards, teachers, and all other noble, neglected people in their respective posts.

Wala lang.

---------

Ang pusong chumu-chug-chug

I can't believe I'm set to leave in 3 weeks. Di ko pa masyadong maramdaman, dami pang trabahong kailangan matapos, perang kailangang malikom. Hay.

But, shit. 3 weeks.

That's not even enough to complete a regular menstrual cycle. WHUT.

I'm babbling. I'm nervous. I'm sleepy. I'm heaving. And I've got work to get back to. HAY.

2007-02-22T09:56:00.000+10:30

Murky waters sometimes soothe me

Leap. One of my favorite words.
And then comes in faith.

------

Pointless overshare

6/1000 Superpoopoo The Series
Meet Superpoopoo -- the hero of my idle time and neighbor of
the one-eyed monster.

I make a lot of shit, illustrate a lot of nonsense, take photos of the most random. I like -- to the point of adoration, if I may add -- a lot of art pieces that are seemingly crappy, useless works. I don't know why but I like them. Deng calls them my farts = funny art. I guess they are funny in a really-you-bothered-to-spend-time-making-that-?! way. But hey, they're a huge part of my happy mundane. I like doodling and giving them away to people who probably won't appreciate them anyway. I am by no means an artist by societal standards but I like what I do so I guess that's all that matters.

Superpoopoo on the beach
35/1000

For a more poetic justification of the things my vision and hands create, I once wrote this about lomography or point & shoot photography in general.

"I've always liked lomography, its output, its philosophy. Branding as it may be or otherwise, I can't honestly care less. I like things that let me let go and I find that this type of photography does, so I finally took the plunge. For me, lomo is hoping, knowing, believing that each click of the shutter, aimed or otherwise, will render an affirmation of beauty in the mundane. It's a dance with the random forces. It's a reminder of faith."

Yea. Things that let me go. Affirmation of beauty in the mundane. My farts are governed by exactly just that so I'm counting on the definite that I'll be farting until my pollutive gas lasts. :)

------

Of standards and defaults

I've been told that I smile a lot. Funny I don't notice anymore that I do. Maybe it's because my heart is on a perpetual giddy yet blank, hopeful status that smiling is pretty much a default mode.

A friend of mine said her default mode is horny. The honesty cracked me up. (You know who you are, and if by chance you read this, HAHA. I love you, too. :))

What's your default mode?

------

Try this

This is an exercise I like to do a lot.

1. Ask yourself what age you think you'll die, ideally.
2. Subtract your present age from that number.
3. Multiply by 365.

Voici. You've got a rough estimate of days you have left alive.

Should things go the way I daydream them to be, I'm 18, 980 days away from death. Tomorrow, the count will be 18, 979. And the next day's will be 18, 978. Then 18, 977. Then 18, 976. Before I know it, I'll be down to a 4 digit count.

Hmm.

Cue in question -- what would I want to do with those days?

What would you want to do with your days?

Am I doing them?

I'm then brought back to this choice that I make is my life.

Hmm.

----------

A lot of rambling this morning, yes? Hello, world. My name is Sili, and I am putting off work to air out a parcel of my brains. Sayang sa cyberspace. Tsk.

Ok. Back to work.

2007-02-19T07:20:00.000+10:30

Pokwang, 2007

"Ganyan talaga pag hindi pa evolved.
Si God, di yan papayag na ginaganyan ganyan ka.
There's so much good you're going to do for this world.
A worthy relationship is something you can celebrate to anyone.
There's a need for more than just playing safe. No second guessing. No wondering.
I see how God is really using you globally.
Women like you are going to come under a lot of fire and which is why clinging to what God has set out for you to do is something you'll need to fight for. With everything you've got."

We all need our reminders.

2007-02-16T11:03:00.000+10:30

Of a Frenched summary on life

Vivre c'est aimer.
Aimer c'est comprender.
Comprender c'est partager.
Partager c'est donner.
Donner c'est aimer.
Aimer c'est vivre.

2007-02-14T06:06:00.000+10:30

In the spirit of Valentine's -- whatever that may really be.

Taken during the 11th
Hot Air Balloon Fest,
Clark, Pampanga

Much love to all today and every single day. :)

----

To those who might care, I chanced upon this guide to dating by Jane Austen.

1. If you like someone, make it clear that you do.
2. Don't put your feelings on public display, unless they'refully reciprocated.
3. Don't play games or lead people on.
4. Have faith in your own instincts.
5. Don't fall for superficial qualities.
6. Look for someone who can bring out your best qualities.
7. Don't settle -- don't marry for money, or convenience, or out of loneliness.
8. Be witty if you can, but not cynical, indiscreet, or rude.
9. Be prepared to wait for the right person to come along.
10. If your lover needs a reprimand, let him have it.

I like Jane Austen. I want to be her friend. Another lifetime maybe, methinks.

In any relationship -- dating, exclusive or whatever categories kids call it nowadays, I think it's important to lay down your cards and let the other person know how you feel. Bakit hindi? Sayang ang oras. I'm not fond of mind games. It's a waste of time. A form of pretension. "Pagpapapresyo." Enough with the analysis and justification. Kung gusto mo, gusto mo. And I say that if the person doesn't like you because you apparently need no chasing, screw him/ her. You're better off with someone who appreciates your worth for all that you are in all laid bare honesty. Life is too short to pretend when there are real emotions to feel. Echoing Patring, "Bawal mag-ipon ng regrets."

----

And for the romance in my life otherwise known as DREAMS & FAITH IN HUMANKIND

Dreamer's Manifesto by Jourdan the Dreamer

I, R.A.V.V., choose to live a life of adventure, excitement, service, joy, spontaneity and love. I choose to love. And as I love I live. As I live I give. As I give I serve. As I serve I step closer to the reality of my dreams. I will dream. I will dream big and amazing and spectacular and awesome dreams.

I will live my dreams and not compromise for the sake of security or safety or comfort. I will jump-out of my comfort zone and embrace change. Change, whom I fear. Change, whom I dread. I will seek to live beyond what I can, believing that the God whom I trust is much, much bigger and greater than any obstacle I may face. I will face my fear. I will stop running away from it and turn around. And when I am face-to-face and eye-to-eye with it I will grab the bull by its balls and make it scream surrender.

I surrender. I surrender to my great Destiny, knowing deep in my heart I am destined for excellence, I am destined for greatness. Not mediocrity, not conformity. Not in arrogance but with the mantle of humility placed upon me. Because this is not about me. This is about humanity. I will persevere for the sake of humanity, who need men inflamed by passion that will ignite the hearts of the timid and fearful souls to push on and soar higher.

And I will do all this not ten years from now when I am free.
Not five years from now when I have the money.
Not one year from now when I am ready.
Not one month from now when all is steady.
Not one week from now when I know how.
Not even tomorrow because tomorrow is far from now.
I will live my dreams now and I will act now.

----

Happy birthday, Papits :)

And Kris Aquino. And Heart Evangelista.

M. Showbiz.

----

Choosing my battles

Pass muna.
Pass na lang na.
No, really.
Ayoko na e.

2007-02-13T03:16:00.000+10:30

Sa katauhan

Lanta na ako pero naniniwala pa din.
Mabigat ang puso pero naniniwala pa din.
Di magbabago yan.

----

We breathe
We die
We think
We try
Hearts soaring
Trees swaying
Forlorn yet graceful
Uprooted
Then grounded
And the cycle repeats itself

Brainfarted 29 December 2006
Sili's planner

----

There wasn't much traffic today. New Manila to Paranaque at lunch time in around half an hour. Cool.

2007-02-12T08:55:00.000+10:30

Operation and designation of functions

I (the decision)
Believe (the action)
in God. (the devotion)

Happy to have listened to service yesterday. I'm not much of a religious person who goes by a classified set of principlels but I have faith.

And I believe.
In a great, big God.
That the hands always clasped tightly with mine belong to Him.
That the reason beyond unanswerable questions lives in Him.
Oh do I believe so much.
My conviction in the impossible springs forth from the fact that I ask from a God who can do anything and even more, everything.

Big dreams, great loves constitute my heart and I like it that way.

----

Sabi kahapon, in a story paralleled to believing God -- If you like someone and believe that you do, why be ashamed of showing it?

Oo nga naman.

Lord, pasensya na, minsan nakakalimot ako. Na lahat naman talaga ng ginagawa ko ay dapat para sa Iyo una sa lahat, at sa ikabubuti ng sangkatauhang minamahal mo.

And in respect of other things, people I like in my life -- I will try to be better at letting my feelings realize into actions.

Life's too short to take anyone and anything for granted. I digress, but anyway, yea.

----

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I like words. I have random words I hear on an even more random basis listed down in pieces of paper. I like the way they strike a chord in me. Perhaps they are or were once emotions I couldn't verbalize.

Passing fancy
Crazy Love
Sign of weakness
Beneath me
And so we try
And so we love.
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
A different sort of same.
Passing of the torch.
Generational.
Mercurial.
Esoteric.

(I'll attempt to do better at giving credit for these wordplays where it is due. Next time, next time.)

----

2007-02-09T11:35:00.000+10:30

Talasalitaan

Random words make me smile for their sheer meaning alone, not even in context of anything. I think words are simple, unsung miracles in themselves, in the power they have to express.

Pananampalataya.
Mabuhay.
Kalinawan.
Mahusay.
Yakap.
Yapos.
Ngiti.
Maligalig.
Masigasig.
Sapat.
Oo.
Hindi.
Kaya.
Tulala.
Halina.
Hangin.
Hinga.
Salamat.

And my favorite as of late, maaari.

----

Minsan lang kasi nakakapagod.
Minsan lang naman.
At naiintindihan ko naman.
Pero yun nga lang.
Nakakapagod.

Pasensiya na.

----

Workwise, I'm actually tired. Doesn't seem like it but yea, I am. I think I need a break but at the rate my deadlines are going, a break isn't even a remote possibility. Pero dahil gusto ko itong ginagawa ko, ipagpapatuloy ko.

Yun nga lang, tulad ng nasabi ko kani-kanina lang, nakakapagod paminsan. Ok lang naman yun diba? Na kinakailangang huminga bawat sandali.

Hay.

Inspire me, world. You always manage to.

----

See the thing is, I can be evil but I choose not to. Oh God, how I so know my capacity for diabolic tendencies. It's just that there exist such rudimentary concepts called common decency and respect and those two things I try to target with every person I meet. I believe that there is never a situation that merits injustice or hatred. I'm not trying to be self-righteous. I just get bored with unnecessary drama and angst.

Co-existence, yo.

2007-02-05T13:45:00.000+10:30

Muni muni at ang kabuoan ng buwan, ng katauhan

To answer the question what completes our being requires the recognition of what is present, then what is missing.

To me, we are all but walking hearts, waking souls having an experience in a physical body. Ikaw, ako, basta lahat ng tao -- iisa lang ang tinatahak. Isa lang ang nararamdaman natin, no matter how different the situation. Same pains, same joys. Our only goal is to help each other breathe easier, breathe well.

I read somewhere that the real sharing of one's life is not when you share what you have but what you are, how you are, really. Sometimes when you do this you feel you feel like you've been stripped naked, your heart and mind laid bare for the world to see. You invite the probability of being scrutinized, poked at, and made fun of.

My answer to that question above is a sharing of my philosophy, my personal religion. And what follows is a description of what I usually feel when I lay my mental and emotional cards down but right now, for some reason, I honestly feel good.

Cool. :)

2007-02-03T21:22:00.000+10:30

Of things that matter in life

Sophie: Teach me how to speak in French.
Farah: Ok. What do you want to learn how to say?
Sophie: Oh, how lovely the daffodils!

Jejejejejeje. Hi, Sophie (my only reader, haha)! :)

2007-02-02T18:49:00.000+10:30

Blank stares, memory deposit

A friend asked me last night why I keep seemingly useless details in my head-- not verbatim, but something to that effect.

See, I have this penchant for remembering the most random. The clothes one had on the first time I meet that person, or shoes. The food someone with me ate. The buttons on someone's shirt, the detail of someone's trousers. The ambient smell at a certain situation. People's avatars online. The fonts, colors of billboards and blogs. Handwriting and doodles of bored people around me (and they know not that I watch, lol). Moles. The various ways someone smiles at different topics. At iba pa. Really. I realize I do this a lot, especially because hmm, I space out quite frequently but the thing is when I'm all tulala, there are things I notice around me that I don't when I'm not. Ay, gulo ba? (who reads this anyway, jejeje) Basta yun.

I never really knew why I do that but for some reason, I spewed out, "What good is it that I have vision if I don't use it to see?" Labo, I know, but yun lang yun, I guess. And by seeing I mean observing, letting the world seep through to me the way I see it. Yea. It was a eureka moment and it felt good. Finally verbalizing in the simplest possible way what I feel, what I've been feeling. There's a priceless joy in that.

Driving home, I realized other mindsets that can be placed alongside that--

What good is it that we can walk, run, move if we be lethargic.
that we can taste if we don't savor.
that we have bright ideas if we don't air them out and let them be heard.
that we can love, we can feel but choose not to.
that we are skilled if we choose to be complacent.
that we own are time but believe otherwise.
that we live in one beautiful world but choose not to co-exist.
that we are happy, contented, and blessed but portray otherwise.
that in our hearts lie benevolent intentions if we don't follow through.
that we know but don't care.
that we care but don't show.
that we are able and capable but act like we're not.

What's the point, really? That we are so blessed yet we refuse to recognize that we are. Sometimes, functions become too routinary we fail to be thankful and optimize their existence.

Breathe, breathe well, and be thankful that you can.

"Everything you need is already in your life, merely awaiting your recognition of it.
Anything unrecognized remains uncelebrated by you.
Anything you refuse to celebrate eventually exits your life. A gift, a person, or a miracle."
-Mike Murdock, Law of Recognition

---

Maganda ang buwan mamayang gabi. Buo, maliwanag.

2007-02-01T00:53:00.000+10:30

Inhale, exhale.

Sili's Tae, 01 Feb 07
Deng's room

What's this about holding back if investing for the long run,
being intelligent if it prohibits impulse,
fleeting beauty, now.
I like drinking cold water,
and it's not because I'll be thirsty again.

2007-01-31T10:43:00.000+10:30

Of past whispers to the wind

I was reading through my old blog and came across some posts that I feel are monumental in shaping my general philosophy. Here's a blissful moment of I-am-awake,-I-understand-now from not so long ago:

"The other day, I was crashing. Pondering on the state of my life and on what my next step will be. I thought about what I have done, what I am doing, what I really want to do, and what's hindering me from doing it. I wrote a bunch of gibberish on a pad as thoughts came flowing one by one, faster and faster. My spelling sucked and my punctuations caused pain. Somewhere in the middle of that mess, I came to a conclusion:

This choice that I am making is my life.

This is it. Whatever it may be, basta eto na yun. This red light I choose to follow. This outfit I choose to wear. This 5min. nap I choose to take. This time I choose to spend online. This story I choose to tell. This comment I choose to make. This shirt I choose to buy. This friend I choose to write to. This dish I choose to order. This deal I choose to break. This person I choose to friend. This moment I choose to wallow in insecurity.This stranger I choose to love. Each choice makes up my life. Each choice is my life.

This that I choose to do. Right now. This is my life. This is what I will be looking at 10, 20, 30 years from now. This is the story I will be telling my children. This is what will make me up tomorrow. If I reach tomorrow. If I do or not, it doesn't matter. Basta eto, eto na yung buhay ko. No such thing as "what I dream to be" cos this is it. I should be what I want to be. Right now. This choice that I make should be a choice I'm willing to live with when I look back and try remember what I did with my life.

Punyeta, pa-deep. I'm not trying to be though. Waa ang gulo.

My choices. These choices. Each choice. Basta lahat. Ito na pala yun. I always think I have a someday to bank on. Then I realize that today is my someday five years ago and is this what I dreamed of before? Yun lang. It's a cycle until the day I die. I know it's something very simple and something a lot have probably realized (a matter of fact that need not even be realized) but in all my lateness, I'm happy still that I just knocked some sense into myself. And I want to remember this relative truth always so that hopefully I might make choices I'm willing to stand up for in time and every time."

Brainfarted 26 July 2006
iamluckyluca.livejournal.com

2007-01-29T22:05:00.000+10:30

Random thought #45411214.5

Isn't it interesting to note how at this very moment, hearts are breaking, in different places of the world? Hmm.

No sad stories here. Just, well, acknowledgement of facts brought about by spaced out moments.

You choose, you learn.

---

Quite a cold night, isn't it?

2007-01-26T12:30:00.000+10:30

Your sign is Pig.

photo credit

The Year of the Pig/Boar 2007 looks to be one filled with impatience, mobility, and change.

The zodiac is ripe with information for you, and of all the Chinese horoscopes; yours has the most to do with change.

You are likely to travel in 2007, Pig. Whether this means changing addresses, pleasure travel, or business travel, is not certain. However, this restless feeling will continue throughout this New Year. In addition, transition is in your forecast, from every area of your life there are signs of change – from minor to great.

Luckily, each change reduces the overall negative effect on your feelings. In fact, your Chinese horoscope for the year 2007 is filled with transitions. It’s a terrific time to bring a new child into your home, to find a new career, or to get married. Any change made has an excellent possibility of leading to good fortune! For Pigs that do not already have such strategies in motion, it is important to find areas of transition. Take a trip, or go back to school, or anything that will initiate some sort of change for you! This will assist in reducing the overall emotional issues you may face. Switch things around and have a little fun!

Even your romantic relationships are ripe for change in this Year of the Boar. This could mean marriage, the end of a current relationship, or the beginning of a new one. Also in your astrology charts is the possibility of an injury or a surgery. Be careful and watch for any signs of a medical issue so you can be prepared. Another warning to take heed of, Pig, is that you are a bit on the pessimistic side. You worry about everything and it’s time to relax and leave those fears behind. Take a trip to ease your emotional turmoil. If possible, go overseas; you’ll be surprised at how much it helps! The perfect dates for this will be in Lunar October 2007.

Of all the Animals in the Chinese zodiac, Pigs seem to be the most anxious for action in the Year of the Pig/Boar 2007. In fact, you are so anxious to get moving; you may ignore your personal limitations or insufficiently take into consideration what you are capable of. If you do this, you will likely end up in a mess of problems.

The lucky stars, Jie Shen and Tian Jie, are in your constellation this New Year. Most of the time, these stars aid you when you find yourself in hot water. On the other hand, simply because they are there, you may find yourself in more trouble than normal. Again, be careful, Pig! This Year of the Pig/Boar 2007 may find it difficult for you to succeed on your own. It is essential to be aware of this and to seek out assistance for important matters. This is specifically true when you are involved in competitions where extra help could mean the difference between a win and a loss. Just remember to embrace the change this year brings to you, Pig, and good things will follow!

---

What a very fitting forecast. I am leaving my comfort zone for 6 months to do volunteer work and I know in my heart that this will be a life-changing year. 2007 will mark the beginning of a lot of my ambitions and hopefully, as a resolution, I may do all to follow through.

Ngunit marriage? New baby? Pakiwari ko ay... hindi. Hehe. Re: relationships, hmm. I'd say the situation of the near future imposes a setting that will make it be all too different, partly new, thus still being a part of the change revolution for this year. Vague, yes? Let's see.

---

Lately I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake and I wondered
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care as long as you don't go
So I cry, and I pray, and I beg...

Stuck in my head, yo.

2007-01-13T10:26:00.000+10:30

Off for a week.

So how do I do this. Hay.

See you in a bit, Klangks.

Hay,
Peep'r

2007-01-06T00:48:00.000+10:30

Eh?

I was having a fumes-through-my-nose moment a bit ago. In an effort to keep calm, I tried to channel happiness and for some reason, the thought bubble that came to me was a conversation I overheard backstage at a fashion show last year. Somewhere in between an attempt of this male model to hit on this female model...

Boy: "Hay. I'm so broken."
Girl: "Ha? Broken?"
Boy: "Broken. Walang pera."

Tsk. O nga naman. I highly doubt she went with him to the after party though. :p

***

An itch is an itch is an itch

Nangangati akong tumulong.

Tara.

Naghihintay and mundo.

2007-01-04T23:22:00.000+10:30

Pick me

During dinner, while I was mindlessly popping a grape after another into my mouth, my best friend's 8 yr. old nephew came up to me with a toothpick in hand.

"Tita Chely, can you help me?"

He opens his mouth and shows the piece of fried dace stuck in between his teeth. I obliged, of course, and exerted honest effort.

That was one stubborn canned fish but with a couple of head tilts and much concentration, the crevices were liberated once again.

"Thank you."

He smiles meaningfully.

It was only after a couple of seconds that I realized what a funny moment that was. That Enzo chose me to pick his teeth. That for a while there, we were both focused on taking his tinga out as if the fight against global poverty depended on it.

There was definitely a connection of belongingness. I felt the love. Haha. Thanks, Ents. I am deeply, sincerely honored. :)

***

Ellen + Paul

The other day, I was drooling over this particular Paul Smith shirt (among other things i.e. wallet, blazer, pumps, luggage). I even held it lovingly, feeling the texture of the cloth and staring at the print.

Lo and behold, Ellen Degeneres was wearing the same exact shirt on her show in tonight's episode.

With plain, army green Vans. (This girl has the most amazing collection of sneakers)

It's a sign.

Let it be said here and now that I will be as gay as they come for Ellen Degeneres. Oh good gods and goddesses of the straight world, I'm sorry, but I swear I will. Hello, pink sofa. I am so there if only for the Ellen.

Seriously. Like you wouldn't believe.

2007-01-01T12:11:00.000+10:30

Bagong taon, bagong pag-asa

May this year mark the beginning of a wonderfully blessed beyond.

LC-A, expired Fuji Superia 100.

As my best friend has put it, "Let us live better lives. Be even better people."

Dare to hope.

Dare to show kindness.

Dare to love.

Dare to forgive.

Dare to reach your dreams.

Dare to believe.

And lastly, follow through.

Cheers to 2007! :)